The Last Two Across the Finish Line

 

Many years ago, I attended the Ranger Indoctrination Program (RIP), which is now known as the Ranger Assessment and Selection Program (RASP).

One of the events was a five-mile run that had to be completed within a strict time limit. It was designed to create stress and accelerate attrition. 

About halfway through, I caught up to another candidate who was struggling and out of breath. He was in good physical condition, muscular and built more like a bodybuilder than a runner. He wasn’t a quitter, but this event just wasn’t his strength. I had a choice to keep my pace and finish comfortably, or slow down and help him. I slowed down and stayed with him. We spent the rest of the run pushing each other to finish. By the time we approached the finish line, everyone else had already crossed. Several candidates had already been dropped for not making it in time. The Black Hats (what our instructors were called) saw us coming from a distance. We were the last two across the finish line. And they informed us that we'd both passed. We’d moved on to the next round.

At the time, I didn’t think much about the decision, as during Infantry Basic Training, Advanced Individual Training, and RIP, one lesson was endlessly repeated: 

Never leave your buddy behind.

As you could probably guess at this point, this story isn’t really about running or about my experience as a Rippie. It’s about a lesson that has stayed with me for more than thirty years.

And I’ve seen the same principle apply in business: Some of the best teams I’ve been part of were built by people willing to invest time and energy in helping others succeed, even when there was no immediate benefit to themselves. Likewise, many of the best leaders I’ve worked with understood that their job wasn’t to win alone. It was to help the team cross the finish line together.

What Mom and Dad Really Gave Me

 

Back in the early 1980s, I wanted a computer more than anything. It was a Commodore VIC-20, for those who are curious. The problem was that my family simply couldn’t afford one. We were of modest means, and there was very little disposable income. My mom and dad were honest with me about it. They told me they wished they could help, but the money just wasn’t there.

At the time, I had a paper route and picked up odd jobs at stores near where we lived. So I started saving. Before long, I realized that at the pace I was earning money, it would take years to buy a computer. To a kid, that was FOREVER.

I asked my parents again if there was any way they could help me get one sooner. Once again, they explained that they simply couldn’t afford to buy me a computer. But instead of leaving it there, they encouraged me to think differently. They suggested I use my paper route money to buy a lawn mower, rake, and basic equipment to start mowing lawns in the neighborhood. They explained that it would take time and work to get there, but it could eventually earn enough money for the computer I wanted.

So that became the plan.

For about five months, I saved every dollar I could. I got about halfway to what I needed for the equipment. Then my mom and dad surprised me. Quietly, without telling me, they’d been saving what little they could to help cover the rest. Looking back as an adult, I have no idea what they sacrificed to do that for me, especially knowing how tight money already was. But they somehow found a way.

Their sacrifice and guidance changed the direction of my life.

Together with my savings and their help, I bought the mower and equipment and started a lawn-mowing business during the summers. In the winters, I shoveled snow. What started as a way to earn money for a computer turned into a foundation for learning responsibility, discipline, customer service, and the value of creating opportunities instead of waiting for them.

By the age of 11, I finally bought that VIC-20.

More importantly, though, the experience taught me lessons far beyond that. Mom and Dad showed me what love looks like through sacrifice. They taught me the value of work, perseverance, gratitude, and ownership. They could’ve simply said no and left it there. Instead, they helped me find a path forward and quietly supported me however they could along the way.

I’ve never forgotten that and am forever grateful.

Thanks for reading.

Tim

Words Carry Weight

 

Years ago, when I was serving in the 3rd U.S. Infantry Regiment (The Old Guard), a few of us had gone out to Murphy’s in Old Town Alexandria after payday. When we returned later that night, another soldier stopped me outside our barracks.

“Hey Gabaree!”

He asked why I was there. I assumed he meant why I was out that late and told him I was probably a little too inebriated and needed to go sleep it off.

He stopped me again.

“No. Why are you HERE?”

He meant, “Why I was in the Old Guard?”

At the time, the question felt oddly philosophical for the middle of the night after a few drinks, but I shrugged and answered honestly. I told him it was an honor to help provide funeral honors for families who had lost someone in service to our country. That it mattered to make every detail as perfect as possible so families knew their loved one was respected and honored properly.

Months later, that same soldier stopped me in a hallway and thanked me.

I was confused until he explained that the night we spoke, he had been planning to go AWOL. He was leaving for good and trying to decide whether any of what we were doing mattered. Something about that conversation changed his mind.

I’ve thought about that moment many times over the years.

Words carry weight. Most of the time, we do not realize when someone is searching for meaning, encouragement, or simply a reason to keep going. We are usually caught up in our own world and do not always realize how much impact a few words can have.

I’m thankful that conversation went the way it did. If I had answered differently, things might have turned out very differently for him.

It became a reminder to me to be mindful of what we say. Sometimes a few words can change the direction of someone’s life.

Tim

Leadership Does Not Require an Org Chart

One of the most important leadership lessons I’ve learned is that leadership is not granted by a title.

It is demonstrated through action.

Organizations often associate leadership with authority, reporting structures, or formal responsibility. Those things certainly matter, but they are not what make people choose to follow someone.

Leadership is ultimately measured by influence—by the ability to help others grow, solve problems, and move forward together.

Leadership Is a Daily Choice

Some of the strongest leaders I have known exercised influence without formal authority.

They mentored new employees.

Shared knowledge freely.

Made introductions that helped someone else’s career.

Offered thoughtful feedback.

Recognized potential in people before others saw it.

None of those actions required permission.

They simply required a willingness to serve.

Influence Exists Everywhere

Leadership opportunities appear far more often than most people realize.

Helping a colleague navigate a difficult decision.

Connecting two people who could benefit from knowing each other.

Sharing lessons learned from a challenging project.

Volunteering professional expertise within the community.

Taking time to coach someone earlier in their career.

These moments rarely receive recognition.

They often create the greatest long-term impact.

Growth Is Part of Leadership

Every season of a career offers opportunities to learn.

Some periods involve building organizations.

Others involve developing new skills, expanding professional networks, reflecting on experience, or exploring different perspectives.

Growth is not something leaders pause until circumstances become ideal.

It is part of leadership itself.

Leaders who continue learning remain better prepared to help others when new opportunities emerge.

Service Builds Credibility

Leadership rooted in service creates trust.

People remember those who invested in them without expecting immediate return.

Organizations remember leaders who shared credit, developed talent, and strengthened teams rather than protecting personal status.

Those habits build credibility that extends well beyond any individual role or organization.

Leadership Is Portable

Titles change.

Organizations change.

Responsibilities evolve.

The ability to influence, encourage, teach, and develop others travels with you.

That may be the most enduring form of leadership.

When leaders focus less on position and more on contribution, they discover that opportunities to serve exist in every stage of a career.

Leadership is not defined by where you sit on an organizational chart.

It is defined by the positive impact you leave on the people around you.